THE LOVE LAB

I first learned about “aporia” in my ‘Hermeneutics and Deconstruction’ class. It is a Greek terminology denoting an impasse or a state of doubt, but it was resurrected by the late Jacques Derrida and left an impression on me since it came up at a time when Democratic candidate John Kerry was running against George Bush in 2004. Many people praised Bush for his decisiveness and John Kerry’s critics used this to their advantage by dubbing Kerry the wishy-washy candidate.

In the context of what I was learning about aporia in my philosophy class, as well as my other critical thinking and logic classes, I was perplexed how having skepticism about such a complex issue as declaring war was seen as a weakness. Even the scientific method praised the search for disconfirming evidence.

The reason I find aporia to be so important is that I believe it to be a staple of a thoughtful mind. The youtube clip below illustrates my point:

“In Plato’s Meno (84), Socrates describes the purgative effect of reducing someone to aporia: it shows someone who merely thought he knew something that he does not in fact know it and instills in him a desire to investigate it.”

source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aporia

This is not to say that Bill O’Reilly will go and investigate this matter further; the aporia is exhibited only by Dave Letterman of the two debaters. This brings me to my next point.

The reason that doubting oneself is important, as I mentioned earlier, is that it is a crucial part of the critical thinking process. If you are open minded to the possibility of contrary evidence to your present schemas, then you will thoroughly examine this evidence and give it the weight it deserves. This further allows a person to actually modify their set beliefs in order to accept the incoming contrary evidence. Jean Piaget called this accommodation, which combined with assimilation to form the adaptation process (in other words – learning).

However, it sure seems some people are better at this than others. I consider the political equivalent of this to be liberalism. The word has become somewhat perverted in our time due to constant political propaganda of equating this viewpoint with big government, loose morals, and the recent weakness of the Democratic party. It is no such thing.

Interestingly enough, Nature Neuroscience just came out with an article which correlates liberalism and conservatism with neuronal activity in the brain. An area called the anterior cingulate shows differences in liberals vs conservatives.

“Political scientists and psychologists have noted that, on average, conservatives show more structured and persistent cognitive styles, whereas liberals are more responsive to informational complexity, ambiguity and novelty. We tested the hypothesis that these profiles relate to differences in general neurocognitive functioning using event-related potentials, and found that greater liberalism was associated with stronger conflict-related anterior cingulate activity, suggesting greater neurocognitive sensitivity to cues for altering a habitual response pattern.”

source: http://www.nature.com/neuro/journal/vaop/ncurrent/abs/nn1979.html

In other words, liberals are better at the accommodation part of learning than conservatives. When faced with evidence that is contrary to their established beliefs they are more likely, due to genetic differences, to modify their representations of reality in order to accept the new data.

It is no wonder why conservatives, more than liberals, represent the religious viewpoint. It seems to me that religion relies on adherence to dogma, sometimes contrary to new information which disproves the very principles on which these beliefs are based. It is also no wonder that liberals are known for their social perspective of egalitarianism (gay, minority, and women’s rights movements) despite a history which is dominated by suppression of these ideas.

I should add that I am not trying to disparage the conservative political viewpoint. I have made it known in my previous posts that I ardently support Ron Paul for presidency, who considers himself a libertarian conservative. I understand people’s qualms with abortion (although I do not agree with them pushing this opinion to be expressed in legislation); I also think some other conservative perspectives, like on immigration and welfare, warrant consideration.

I am simply denouncing “the conservative mind”, which does not allow itself to adapt.

…leads us to the Neuron.

A friend of mine recently heard the Dalai Llama give a speech in Barcelona, Spain.  Mr. Llama emphasized that the way to achieve happiness and inner tranquility is through love and compassion.  I have written about love before, particularly the sort of love that the Dalai Llama would very much approve of: the kind of love which focuses on giving; it is a love that is composed of knowledge, respect, care, and effort.  I mentioned that I would touch upon care and effort at some point and I think it is important to note that care and effort combine to form passion, whereas knowledge and respect combine to form friendship.

care + effort = passion

Without genuine care, our hard effort becomes more of a chore.  Have you ever had a dead-end job that you worked very hard at, yet it never gave you any sort of fulfillment? Without effort, care is simply the attention we give to an object/subject.  We can have affection for it, an interest in it, but without effort there is no energy exerted and nothing sacrificed.

knowledge + respect = friendship

For the purposes of discussing the search for happiness, I’d like to focus on compassion as an integral part of contentment. Compassion is simply empathy that is coupled with the desire to help the other.

empathy + effort = compassion

This makes a lot of sense when we look at our previous equation of care and affort.  When we have empathy for someone, we care about them in addition to identifying with them in a vicarious way.  We feel what they feel.  Since empathy encompasses care, then we can agree that compassion encompasses passion.  In addition, I do not believe you need to identify with someone in order to CARE about them.  This would explain how psychopaths can love just like the rest of us, although how they express this love can be somewhat different and may lack the understanding of the object’s needs.

Empathy, like love, is a product of evolution.  These are both necessary aspects of our survival.  Love is essential in the sense that it secures reproduction and the raising of a dependent young.  Empathy is essential for many reasons.  It occurs through the action of mirror neurons which are capable of initiating a response in us by firing away from mere observation of an event.  For example,  watching a person scratching their head, we actually initiate a similar scratching of the head response in our minds (as if we were doing it).  In this way we are able to anticipate another’s actions, as well as sympathize with their pain.  Both skills are important for basic survival, as well as for social success.  Appropriately, these mirror cells gained the nickname of “The Dalai Llama neurons”.

It is important to note that neither passion nor compassion can occur without the addition of EFFORT.

Effort occurs anytime we exert our physical or mental energy and it seems to be the common thread in the two equations.  I am a firm believer that happiness cannot be achieved without diligent effort and that hard work always pays off. All the technicalities aside, I strongly agree that directing our efforts toward others through care and empathy  will lead to a certain fulfillment.  I don’t think this is the only way to be fulfilled, though.  Directing our efforts and care towards an idea can be very fulfilling, as well.  For instance, having passion for what you do can be very exciting and brings much satisfaction to men in particular.  However, I do believe that ultimate happiness lies in the personal exchange of love.

In my quest to find out the formula for the ultimate romantic partnership, I have yet to come up with better descriptions of the necessary components. Note these are necessary but not sufficient and they apply more to the relationships which have lasted past the initial period of passionate romantic love.

I am still working out the kinks of the entire formula (lovelab – get it?).

Knowledge = In order to have open communication, there has to be knowledge of the other individual and understanding of their needs and intentions.

Respect = How can you trust someone if you do not believe in the integrity of their word? How can there be idealization without admiration? How can you view the other as an equal and treat them as such when you do not respect their goals, opinions, and beliefs? Some may think that trust is its own category, but I am still debating that. At this time, I’ll have to say that trust is embedded in respect. If you respect your partner’s word that they will be loyal to you, then you should be able to trust them. Vice versa, if you respect your partner then you will not be careless with their feelings or humiliate them through infidelity.

More to come on Care and Effort…