THE LOVE LAB

Dear LoveLab,

I recently started reading “The Game” – the book on pickup artists – and am feeling inspired. My question is two-fold:

1) I want to get involved in the pickup artists society, I understand that it exists on the internet – and somewhat in the real world. I want to get out there as the alias “Caliber” (you’ll know why based on my second question below) so, I would like to know: where can I find these online blogs/discussion groups, etc? Do these people meet in real life? Where? Do you have any specific sites or locations?

2) I am a good looking guy and I know how to work women. Some. Usually the ones that are “below my standards.” I have no problem attracting and hooking the so-so girls. I want to up the caliber of women that I get. Hence, my name will be “Caliber.” So, since I have the basic concept down, how do I get the really hotttt girls? Are they any different than the less attractive girls? Should my approach be any different? I know I feel a lot more nervous and lose my game around the hot ones. Help!

LOVELAB SAYS:

Hi Caliber,

1) I am all for inspiration – and I appreciate the empowerment that advanced social skills can bring into ones dating life – however I must say that your quest for ‘hooking’ beautiful women probably has little to do with relationships and love per se. It sounds like you are asking me how to get laid and that question would probably be better addressed by Mystery himself (you can buy his book through Amazon, below). Furthermore, I have ethical issues with promoting sociopathic behaviors. I think winning the affection of a beautiful woman is one thing, but ‘hooking’ and ‘getting’ her for purposes not specified but inferred from your verbiage goes against the mission of this website.

As far as meeting places, I have no idea why you would think I would know where pick up artists meet! However, I did hear through the grapevine that Mystery and his friend Metador were spotted on a Monday night at Butter this past November. I hear they were working the room like a circus.

Butter NYC

2) I may want to give you the benefit of the doubt about wanting to attract beautiful women of your own caliber. You have to remember one thing. Both women and men want SYMMETRY. And I am not only talking about the bilateral kind…which actually plays a crucial role in attraction on a biological level. I am talking about symmetry in being. There are factors that make women highly valued mates and those that raise the value of a man. For women, these factors include estrogen and youth markers (see my posts on LOVE IS NOT A FEELING) and for men they may be societal status and testosterone markers (see my posts on THE MODERN ALPHA MALE and THE MODERN ALPHA MALE: WHY WOMEN LOVE HIM). You clearly want highly valued women so you have to ask yourself if you are a highly valued male. You already said you are good looking, which is a good start. Attractive women, even more so than less attractive ones, are more likely to be attracted to symmetrical men with masculine features throughout their menstrual cycle (whereas less attractive women are more likely to be attracted to these types of men only during their ovulation). However, in order to attract a beautiful woman, you must have other resources at bay. Money and power can be important for a man to attract a really beautiful woman since these are the things that signify status in our society. If you don’t have that, a great sense of humor or impressive creative abilities/talents can substitute. I believe that the mating market is quite efficient in forming unions of relatively equal value (at least in the sense that both individuals believe they are of equal value, as this could be a confidence issue), so I am going to go and assume that you have not yet cultivated these other factors, otherwise you would have found your hotty.