SIGNS HE ONLY WANTS YOU FOR SEX (Curious asks LOVELAB)
[Love Quote: "Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex." -Donald Symons, an Anthropologist]
Dear Love Lab,
What are some of the things that can indicate that a man is only pursuing you sexually, or actually might want something more serious or long-term? And what do you think are the factors that would influence his motives?
- Curious
LOVELAB SAYS
Dear Curious,
Keep in mind that the two are not mutually exclusive; a guy who really likes you might still be initially trying to consummate the physical aspect of your relationship. His pushiness with this could be an indication that he is trying to ensure:
a) you are not using him for whatever material benefits you are receiving through the courtship
b) you are not trying to place him in the ‘friend’ category
c) you have a good sexual chemistry
So if he is seemingly aggressive about sealing the deal, look at the whole picture to see if there are relationship-seeking signs displayed at the same time.
SIGNS HE ONLY WANTS SEX
-he is inconsistent with contacting you; days, or even weeks or months go by before you hear from him
-he only calls you to hang out at night
-he is limiting his material and time investment in the relationship
-he doesn’t seem to want to get to know you
-he forgets relevant things about you that you’ve mentioned several times
-the relationship is not progressing in intimacy after you have spent a lot of time together
-he doesn’t go out of his way for you
SIGNS HE IS SEEKING A RELATIONSHIP
-he is taking initiative in planning activities together, particularly those that involve a lot of one-on-one time
-he seems to admire you as a person
-he considers your opinion when making future-oriented decisions
-he prioritizes you
-he wants you to be included in his life and vice versa
-he introduces you to important people in his life
-he opens up to you about his feelings
As far as factors influencing his motives, that is too involved to address in one post. Please contact me at consulting@lovelabonline.com to inquire into package prices or continue asking more specific questions by emailing me at askme@lovelabonline.com.
Tags: courtship, dating, love, relationships, sex
February 9th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
[...] At this point, men may be unlikely to jump into a serious relationship with a girl unless she fits into the profile of the kind of girl they see in the long term. If you fit the bill, they will pursue you seriously and will exhibit relationship seeking behaviors; if you don’t they will probably pursue you for sex. Some of the behaviors that indicate each respective motivation are described in one of my earlier posts (SIGNS HE ONLY WANTS YOU FOR SEX). [...]
August 6th, 2009 at 12:36 am
[...] you are curious about actual signs of interest, check out my post on “SIGNS HE ONLY WANTS YOU FOR SEX” as a quick reference. Keep in mind when you read that post that certain people take longer than [...]