THE LOVE LAB

The Fleeting Love

Lovelab,

Can you explain how to make a man want to take care of you?

LOVELAB SAYS:

Hi Karen,

I think there are several factors to consider.

First, a man’s capacity to care for someone varies on an individual basis. Some men are mature enough to express their care with appropriate behaviors; some men are simply more capable of care in and of itself due to higher empathy (see my post on THE AGE A MAN SHOULD SETTLE DOWN). It may be easier for them to care for all people, not just the ones they love.

As for or the regular Joe, I think a man needs to feel he wants to invest in you (or has already invested in you) in order for him to elicit caring behaviors. For example, if he is sexually pursuing you or if you are married and you are the mother of his children. In both instances, caring for you would be protecting his own investment (especially in the latter case).

However, aside from that, there are certain females that are extremely good at eliciting the caring response. Think Marylin Monroe; both men and women felt a parental warmth towards her. According to Konrad Lorenz’s theory, childlike characteristics produce an instinctual protective response in people. Thus emphasizing various child like characteristics can enhance your ability to elicit the caring response from men. Below are some examples.

Physical Traits in women that denote a childlike innocence:

Full and well defined lips (natural reddish color)

Rosy cheeks

Firm and elastic skin that glows (although some freckles can denote youth, as well)

Large eyes

Rounded cheeks

Long eyelashes

Blond curls

This picture of a young Marylin Monroe is a perfect example of a face with child like features. She has the full reddish lips, the glowing skin, the blond curles, and the rounded cheeks.

Also notice her playful expression. Marylin Monroe was practically an expert at exuding a childlike charm. This was grounded in more than her looks.

Expressions and personality can play a role, as well. Just think of how a child acts…taking the best qualities of course.

Some of these personality features can include:

naivete and innocence

frankness and honesty

curiosity

enthusiasm about life

energy

showing admiration and being in awe (a child is more likely to be exposed to novelty)

These personality traits can be expressed through facial mannerisms:

a pout

genuine smiles and laughter

a sweet and childlike voice

From Wiki:

“The Ingénue (pronounced /?æn??nu?/) is a stock character in literature, film, and a role type in the theatre; generally a girl or a young woman who is endearingly innocent and wholesome.

Typically, the ingenue is beautiful, gentle, sweet, virginal, and often naïve, in mental or emotional danger, or even physical danger, usually a target of The Cad; whom she may have mistaken for The Hero.”

Below are females who have have benefited from their childlike sexuality (Marylin Monroe, Briggitte Bardot, Britney Spears, Kate Hudson:

Tags: care, effort, love, motivation, relationships

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