Social prowess gained through advanced degrees, competence, ambition, and creativity has allowed a woman in her prime to bring a whole new set of tools to the dating scene. And yet, in New York City, 66% of the women ages 20-34 (basically the reproductive years) have never been married.
This begs the question of whether being a high status female has an actual advantage in the dating landscape.
Evolutionary biologists insist that the age-old strategy is for men choosing attractive and fertile women, while women prefer men of status and resources.
Do men really consider a woman’s social rank as an unimportant or irrelevant dating quality?
One website I found created a ‘dating market value’ quiz for men and women, with a woman’s market value being determined largely by physical factors. Generous points are given for youth, beauty, and a low body mass index and points are actually taken away for an above average IQ (this test was written by a man).
In fact, here is the insightful note the blogger writes at the bottom of his quiz:
“I hope everyone noticed what was missing from this test: Your job. The amount of money you make. Your accomplishments.Your social status and number of friends. Your deep and profound worldview.”
I decided to get to the bottom of all this and found some empowering facts for the ladies looking for success in social rank AND in romance.
Although it is true that men covet attractive and young females, the factors that are even more important in the actual unions that result (and particularly those that are happily maintained) are:
being close in time/distance
social class background
Note how all these factors can be impacted by the social position of the woman.
And the big factor leading to divorce? The woman having a low status! In fact, the least educated women and those that marry very young (and thus tend to be more low status at the time) are the most likely to get divorced.
On the other hand, it was shown that college educated women who, although marry later, enjoy the following benefits:
- they are less likely to view marriage as “financial security” and can marry for love
- they are happier in their marriages and with their family life,
- they are the least likely to divorce
The point I am trying to make is that having a high ‘dating market value’ as perceived by men may not necessary mean you will have high dating success.
High status women don’t come out on top because of who chooses THEM, but because of whom THEY choose.
note: I originally wrote this post as a guest on guest of a guest (pun intended during Social Media Week last year. Although, they wound up going with another article for publication, I wanted to give them a shout out since they inspired me to think about it.