THE LOVE LAB

Check out our fun and flirty merchandise on the PRODUCTS page. LOVE LAB clothes and accessories are meant to encourage communication and give an excuse to say hello. We are currently displaying our exclusive images on pet clothes (what better way to break the ice anyway???). However, human clothes will be included in the next few weeks for this series, as well as others. ENJOY!

LOVELAB NOW FEATURES AN ADVICE COLUMN.

PLEASE FIND THE ASK LOVELAB PAGE ON TOP.

YOU CAN SUBMIT YOUR QUESTIONS ON THE ASK LOVELAB PAGE AND I WILL WRITE AN OFFICIAL RESPONSE.

OTHER PEOPLE WILL BE ABLE TO POST COMMENTS, AS WELL.

TO VIEW ONLY THE ASK LOVELAB Q&A POSTS, PLEASE CLICK ON THE ASK LOVELAB LINK UNDER CATEGORIES (ON YOUR RIGHT).

WHAT IS IT

It is an attitude by which to engage in high quality relationships where the two individuals freely enter a social agreement in which they choose to promote the physical and mental well being of the other. If both individuals choose to participate in a relationship of their own free will they are, in a sense, making a tacit social contract. They have weighed the costs against the benefits and they are willing to live with the consequences of that choice.

WHAT OF FIDELITY

However, this only works if both people obey the terms of the contract. For instance, if I agree to enter a monogamous relationship and my partner cheats – this is not libertarian love. Even though both people in this instance are free to do as they please (cheat if you want, leave if you want), this is not a form of libertarian love since the cheater has entered into a contract whereby they have agreed to disengage from extra-pair affairs of their own free will. It is also not libertarian love if I never find out about my partner’s affair. If I enter into a social contract with a partner, based on some perception which he has presented to me, then I am being cheated out of my opportunity to make the right choice for myself when that image is an illusion. This is an indirect way of hindering someone’s liberty – by way of misinformation and deception (a.k.a. FRAUD).

HOW WOULD A LIBERTARIAN LOVE RELATIONSHIP END

In Libertarian love both individuals promote the well being of the other and allow them to develop in ways that they wish. Preferably, the goals of both idividuals are not in conflict. A libertarian love relationship would end if the goals of each person are in conflict to a degree that either is not willing to compromise in order to reduce the conflict of interest. In this sense, the love itself would not end since it was not given based on any expected return, but the relationship would dissolve.

“Windmill windmill for the land Turn forever hand in hand Take it all there on your stride It is TICKIN’, fallin’ down Love forever love is free Let’s turn forever you and me Windmill windmill for the land Is everybody In?”-Gorillaz, “Feel Good, Inc”

MARRIAGE, like LOVE, is just something that has evolved in order to keep two people together long enough to raise dependent young. Whereas the latter is the product of biological evolution – the former is the product of a cultural one. Incidentally, marriage may have evolved to buffer against the inadequacy of Love in fulfilling this very important role.

Surely, if passionate Love lasted for the time required to raise a dependent young we would not need a legal contract to secure a commitment. Women would be left assured that they would be supported during the vulnerable time of pregnancy and that their children would have the resources to grow up to be independent adults. Men would be left assured that their genes would be passed on without the risk of a reallocation of resources due to infidelity. Of course, women would have this assurance, as well, since infidelity can potentially lead to the allocation of the man’s resources to another woman’s child. I am working on the assumption here that if people are in love they do not cheat. This is not always the case since there are people out there who cheat even if they are in love (some may disagree with me on this). However, marriage will surely not mitigate that risk for those particular individuals so that may be a moot point.

In most people, passionate love lasts a year on an average and begins to decline thereafter. Moreover, the biggest declines are experienced 18 months after the birth of the first child and the honeymoon levels return only after the children have left the nest (if the couple is still together!). Half the couples do not survive through this stage, although it should be pointed out that the maturity of the woman at time of marriage may somehow mitigate this risk (risk declines for college educated women over 23 years of age). This could be due to their better discriminating abilities in choosing the appropriate partner. There are always the 10-15% of that marriage statistic who are an anomaly and do not suffer from this decline. Their marriage satisfaction remains the same or even increases. Nevertheless, for most people passionate love does not last long enough to make it through the particularly vulnerable periods and marriage takes over. Most divorces occur about 7-10 years after the marriage, which is also around the time when the child enters into some sort of school system and thus the woman’s ability to support herself increases. In this sense, although it is not an optimum situation, the marriage has served its purpose.

Marriage is mostly a financially/legally driven institution, since it ensures the protection of the female against a dead-beat dad. No matter how independent and career oriented the woman is before the marriage, there will be a time when she is pregnant and will rely on some sort of support from her partner (emotional, physical, and financial). This period also sets women back in careers where one needs to maintain momentum: a legal career where one may be on a partner track, academic careers where constant publications are important, and careers in medicine where there is a considerable physical and mental strain involved in the necessary steps needed to proceed with the career path. Usually, if the women is to have her first child before the age of 35 (which is physically preferred for both woman and child), then this financial set back will happen at just the most importune time where particularly ambitious careers are concerned (ones in which graduate and post graduate commitment is usually required).

CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE…

The modern alpha male is a perfect example of how our social and biological selves are runners on the evolutionary track.  Biology, weighed down by the process of natural selection and genetic mutations, is lagging behind the sprinting Social.  We are biologically drawn to them, but they often make non optimal partners.

Current research points to the negative qualities of high testosterone men as romantic partners, husbands, and fathers.

Why would women want that?  Social ramifications aside, high testosterone usually means great sperm.

The visual markers of an alpha male are the physiological traits that scream high testosterone to the opposite sex.  We have also been biologically conditioned to find many of  these qualities physically or sexually attractive

Cheekbones and a defined Jaw Line

broad shoulders

heavy muscles in the arms and legs

capacity to store fat around the stomach area – (not attractive in itself, but women may prefer that to a guy with big hips)

deep voice

ring finger outstretches their index finger (greater exposure to testosterone while in the womb)

Societal Markers of an alpha male are the culturally derirable consequences of high testosterone males:

Women have been socially conditioned to find these qualities important, since they signify a man’s ability to provide and support during the vulnerable stage of pregnacy and raising a dependent young.

Power,

Wealth,

Status

The Catch-22, however, is that the men who have been able to acquire the power, wealth, and status due to the interplay of their physiology (high testosterone) and socioeconomic factors (education, good upbringing) are also the ones who seem to be more likely to display less commitement to use these resources for a long term partnership and parental investment.  Or at least so it seems…

references:

(Testosterone and Men’s Marriages Alan Booth, James M. Dabbs, Jr. Social Forces, Vol. 72, No. 2 (Dec., 1993), pp. 463-477)

Below are some examples of real modern day alpha males:

Former President Bill Clinton

Actor, George Clooney

Hugh Hefner, the ultimate Playboy