[Quote: "Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." - Gloria Steinem]
Asking Someone Out
You’re HOT – How can I date you?
Wait. I have a love advice question too. How can a guy get one of those high quality girls who seem almost out of reach – the celebrities, the movie stars, the girl running the website, the models, the “high status” girls.
It’s not like I interact with them every day. How do I come across them more? And if I see them, what do I do?
Thanks. And, oh, how can I date you?
LOVELAB SAYS:
Dear DD,
It is interesting that you emphasize ’status’ per se since high status is not as important a factor for men as it is for women when it comes to choosing mates. Also, I would like to point out that models are not necessarily high status females, unless they are famous or supermodels. Although they may be coveted by men, it isn’t because of their status, but because of their beauty. They perhaps raise the status of the male, but this doesn’t make them high status.
Status is determined by an individual’s relative rank in the social hierarchy. In American society this is largely determined by fiscal fitness; in general, money and connections will determine your rank since that is what yields influence. Individuals of high status, both male and female, will have first pickings in mate selection and material resources. Celebrity women are indeed included in this category. So like high status men, women of the highest status may choose beauty/youth instead of following a reproductive strategy of most other women (who take resources largely into account). This trend is well characterized by the following celebrity couples:
Madonna and Guy Ritchie
Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher
So how does a guy get a really high status woman? It seems you have to be somewhat beautiful and have a laid back personality. These women don’t need to settle on anything; since resources – and the drawbacks that come with men that have them – are not an issue, an ego and a macho attitude probably won’t do you much good. It seems you need to have enough of your own status to flow in their circles, but your own status may not be as much of a factor as it is for the ‘highly desired’ women (discussed in my response to Caliber).
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