THE LOVE LAB

[QUOTE: "It's all fluff if it comes from someone with low integrity" - A.S.]

Remember – actions speak louder than words!

There are certain factors that render a man ready to settle down and I describe them below. However, I think on an average, these developments are accomplished between the ages of 27-34 in men. In stimulating cities like New York and LA, it is more difficult for a man to achieve the following developments because of the maximizing attitude of both men and women due to the plethora of choices in romantic partners, activities, and career opportunities. They will probably be on the higher end of this range or perhaps above it.

Nonetheless, a man is generally ready to settle down when:

HE KNOWS HIS SELF WORTH

A man is ready to settle down when he no longer feels the need to validate himself through female affirmation.

It is a clear indication that a man settled prematurely when he still needs to pad his ego by by seeking sexual reciprocation from other women.

In some men, this is manifested through the ‘peter pan syndrome’. You know the ones I’m talking about: the men in their 30′s and 40′s who feel like they are missing out if they don’t visit the new hot spot, dye their hair, sport the flashy car, and constantly surround themselves with people and atmospheres that make them feel younger (particularly younger women). These men have been dating for so long that this bachelor lifestyle has become a sort of routine and they somehow lost track of what was the point of it in the first place. Some of them eventually start a family and not always because they are truly ready to settle down, but because starting a family was on the agenda. They still crave that same lifestyle and may continue to pursue women in various ways. These men are not ideal partners because they still require validation.

Some men can achieve this stage very early on because they have healthy egos, pursue activities they are passionate about that build their self esteem, and have had the necessary life experiences to facilitate such development; some may never achieve this or achieve it when it is not optimal for them to settle down. Men are a lot more lax about their age since they don’t feel the impending doom of the biological clock until much later. Unfortunately, for those who do plan on eventually having a family, there is a cost to this because male sperm loses quality after 35 years of age similarly to the way female fertility diminishes. Although they may still be able to impregnate, the risks for genetic disorders in offspring increases and many of these diseases (such as schizophrenia) will not rear their ugly ahead until the children reach a certain age.

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